Cross jokes
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Why did the joke cross the street?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
I can now cross it off my bucket list
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road.
He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?"
"Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done."
This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine."
"What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do."
"You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?"
Chuck knew the answer. "Me."
Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house."
Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either.
"No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways."
He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?"
Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence.
He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him.
A single tear welled in Chuck's eye.
The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.
Why did the wetback cross the river? To get to the US.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️