Cross Jokes

Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

"Peter, Peter come to me!"

So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.

How do you know if a comedian is high?

Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To get to the curry shop.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!

What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Park.

Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?

To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.

Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?

It crossed the line with Jesus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.

Why did the black guy cross the street to check King Van?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to his job at KFC!

Why did the duck cross over the cave? Because he wasn't a chicken.

IDK, sorry...

What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?

A sad news story.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.

Why did the liberal cross the road?

(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)

Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!

Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.

I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

Hey Hunter, Thomas here.

Why did the plane cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!