Cross jokes
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.