Cross jokes
Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.