Cross jokes
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
When you try to sneak something
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇