Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up
What's a rapist's favourite scale? C Minor.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
my gun is like my house used to be full now its empty
Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: "oh" (screwing on a silencer)
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Q. What do You call a gun that rapes someone? A. An assault rifle
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
Whats the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A: M
Holmes said, look up Watson what can you see?
Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A:M
What else Watson
It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow
What Else Watson
What am I supposed to see Holmes?
Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent
A panda walks into a bar, he asked the bar tender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him the leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “it’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon
so you wanna play like that ayy, well sydney dident wanna play like that either. and thats why you got arrested
A woman ran into a police station screeming "help i have bin graped" the policeman said "do you mean raped" the woman said "no the was a bunch of then".
