Crime jokes
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
I AGREE WITH EDP.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Davin is a pedo.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!