Crime jokes
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.