Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.