Crime jokes
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
O-Block
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.