What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
