Crime jokes
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.