Crime

Crime Jokes

Difference

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

  • 1
  • Kidnapper

    What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

    Cheetah

    Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

    Yoda

    Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

    He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

  • 2
  • Necrophilia

    A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

    Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

  • 7
  • Rape

    I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

    Pedophile

    What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

    The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

  • 1
  • Dead Baby

    How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

    Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

  • 1
  • Train

    Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?

    They say he had locomotives.

    Rape

    Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

  • 9
  • Jesus

    What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?

    Jesus died a virgin.

    Snail

    One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

  • 4
  • Terrorist

    What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

    They can blow themselves up.

    Drug Dealer

    How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

    Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

  • 0
  • Rape

    It's not rape if she doesn't say no.

    Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.