Crime jokes
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.