A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
