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Crime

Crime jokes

Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?

They di2s drying plans.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.