Crime jokes
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."