Crime jokes
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.