What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Crime Jokes
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because he's a registered sex offender.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
