Crime jokes
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.