Cream jokes
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!