Cream jokes
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?