Cream jokes
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Ice cream is just like I scream.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."