Cream jokes

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Ass cream.

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

What did the snowman ⛄️ eat after dinner?

Ice cream 🍨.

Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

What dessert do you get on September 11th?

An ice cream flight!

What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?

The cream of the crop.