Cream

Cream jokes

Butt

    • If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

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    • Ice Cream

    • My bf: Knock knock.

    Me: Who's there?

    My bf: Ice cream.

    Me: Ice cream who?

    My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

    Misunderstanding

    • Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

    Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

    Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

    So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

    Ice Cream

    • In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

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    • Cream memes

    Brojob

    • Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?

    Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.

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    • Ice Cream machine

    • Little boy: Momma?

    Mom: Yes, my dear.

    Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

    Mom: Why!?

    Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

    Ice Cream

    • A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

    The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

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    • Ice Cream

    • Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

    The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

    Johnny replies: "Sure."

    After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

    Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

    The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

    After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

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    • Name

    • 1. Full name: John.

    2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

    3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

    4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

    5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

    6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

    7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

    8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

    9. Working motivation: none.

    I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

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    • Adult

    • Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

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