Cream jokes
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
What do you call a rapper who LOVES desserts?
Ice Cream-E
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."