Cream jokes
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.