Crash jokes
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.