Americans: we drive on the right side of the road
The British: we drive on the left side of the road
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
My grandpa died in 911 ,he was a great pilot
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
