Crash jokes
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
"You did great!"
"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"
"Nah, that's okay."
"Here's the quarterback."
"You don't want the quarter?"
"No! Quarterback!"
"Huh?"
(Crashes) (screams)
"Yo, sorry 'bout that."
"You think he's gonna be mad?"
"Who? Baldi?"
"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"
(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.