Crack jokes
Rocks rock and crack!
Hi, this is a good prank I did.
So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA
(Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)
Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Funny Test Answers #6
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"