Crack jokes
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
What do you call a crackhead with no crack?
Pointless.
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly. “Correct,” says the teacher. The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts. “Correct again,” says the teacher. The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep. This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?” Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.