Crab jokes
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Every hair zodiac has a hairstyle--except Cancer.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.