Cow jokes
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
Penis.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.