Conversation jokes
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
"Prince, please talk to me!"
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."