Conversation jokes

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."