Conversation Jokes

You go up to a bar and say hi he doesn’t look at you you keep saying hi he says what then you realize that he is the one that u stole his lady from but then he doesn’t give you any drink you say why he screams at you and then says YOUR FIVE

What did 1 buttcheeck say to the other? "Together we can stop this shit".

(on thirteenth birthday) Girl: Ma, why did papa leave? Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

What did the green grape say too the purple one

Calm down and take a breath

What did one chair say to the other? "I'm so bummed out!"

devil : hey angel angel : hi devil why are nice ? devil : what do angels add to there food to make it i little more spicy? angel : what? devil : angelpinos

What did one tower say to the other damn you looking fly

My friend said to me that I am gay my response I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night

Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep-? Me: I have depression what do you think-?!

me: hey siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: yes I was informed she died from sugondese

me: wat is dat?

Siri: sugondese nuts

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"

The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?:

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip. -- It was one-sided.

My friend:What are you doing Me:I ́m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I ́m boiling the hell out of it.

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn't taste anything

son. hi dad. yo

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage

Priest: How the hell did that fire start Rabbi: I don't know but what about the children? Priest: Fuck the children Rabbi: Do we have time? Priest: There's always time for something like that.