Conversation jokes

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

A boxer talks with his fists.

Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.

Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"