A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, sl*t!" I walked towards him. "I prefer slit." I said. "Why?" He asked. "You see this wrists?" I spat at him.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book.
A. I have two many problems.
what did the flower say to the crazy penut?
Ur going nuts boii get back on yo' plant ur to nuts for me
What did the indian cheese say to the other cheese? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast
Me : Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds - Them : Your ugly - Me : Sorry I am not a mirror.
what did the airplane say to the paper plane, why do you look like a wimp
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom? A. "We're in the Matrix"
Orphan: crying You: do you know where your parents are Orphan:no Your Friend: they don't have parents !!! You:😂 I know
What does one boob say to the other boob
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What does the depression person say to the happy person? Damn I wish I was on the stuff your on lol.
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?" and the Nacho say to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don ́t worry there will be a third person in a little while.
a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."
my impression of Michael Jackson's Butler: when answering the phone: - No, sorry he's dead. hangs up phone
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: *gasps* whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off... Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn't exciting, make something up!
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this. I need to talk to u guys
i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it
Go up to your friend and say: “It smells like updog.” They will likely reply: “What’s updog?” To which you reply: “Nothing much, what about you?”
