What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Conversation Jokes
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
