Conversation jokes

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"

The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?