Conversation jokes

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

How are you?

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

What did one butt say to the other?

Something brown is slithering down.

I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.

But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?

"You are a consequence of rape!"