If 2 vegans are arguing is it still considered beef?
What did the cookie say to the milk? What’s up duud
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Two people are sitting in a sky scraper. P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible. P2: Airplane wifi
Gf:Hi
Bf:Hi
Gf:did you eat yet
bf:did you eat yet?
Gf:are you copying me?
Bf:are you coping me??
Gf:i love you
Bf:yeah i ate already
Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
Dad:im dying Son:hi dying, im [name] Dad:really, now is not the time Son:im sorry Dad:hi sorry im dad (dies)
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
What did the lady say to mickel jacson on the beech?exscuse me sir but your in my sun
If u r talking to Indian and noticed a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what u said... They r recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What did one squirrel say to the other ''do you have any nuts''
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
the went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: “Well, I’m not happy”.. Me: Then which one are you?
Freshfry pls leave me and prince alone! I never ask u too join our chat!
me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad
