Conversation jokes

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

What is boring? Talking about boring things.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.

What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

What did one butthole say to the other?

"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"

Sister: I don't want to do it, but...

Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.