Conversation jokes
"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Jokes...
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.