Construction jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!