Conflict jokes

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?

A: Because they were fencing.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?

In an explosion.

Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD incoming.

"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"

Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

Science flew us to the moon.

Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.

The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.

What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.