Competition jokes
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.