Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Why wasn’t the orphan allowed on the game show?
The show was called "Family Feud."
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Society is like chess, it's always whites vs blacks.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
