Speedrun jokes

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.

Technoblade: Speedruns Life.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

Who are the fastest readers?

911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.