Speedrun jokes

How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?

As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.

Technoblade: Speedruns Life.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?

Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.

Speed.

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.