Comparison jokes
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?
They both got them big parts.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.