When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
Your hairline looks like the McDonalds logo
What’s the difference between a penis and a gold ball? A penis always goes in the hole.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza? A dead baby can't feed a family.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex? They are not for kids.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag? There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
