Comparison jokes
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
I am soooooooo cute like Harish, I lo[ve].
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.