Comparison jokes
I am soooooooo cute like Harish, I lo[ve].
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
You are so cat.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.