Comparison jokes
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Basketballs are bigger than end.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!