Comparison jokes
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Basketballs are bigger than end.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!