Comparison jokes

Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.