Comparison jokes
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.
Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.