Comparison jokes

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.

Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.

Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.