What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
