Comedy

Comedy jokes

Woman

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

Common

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Hair

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Chin

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

Friend

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Hell

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

Hairline

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like it got slapped back by Will Smith.

Yo mama

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Egg

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

Health

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Kidnapping

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Morning

The first ever joke:

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?

Friend

My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"