Comedy jokes

What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?

Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!

Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).

Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

One time there was a squirrel who died.

It was funny because the squirrel got dead.

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

What did one nut say to the other?

“Cashew later.”

What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!

I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

Mom: Exactly.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.