Home Alone jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
What movie do orphans hate most?
"Home Alone."
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.