Comedy Jokes

Q:What is Trump

A: an oversized oompa loompa

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists?

They are also forcing themselves on others.

3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys

How did I get to Iraq? I ran

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show

Family Feud

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, 'why are you crying my son?' 'my parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died,' 'it's just not your day today is it' Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

They made a horror movie about the Chinese president It's called Winnie the Pooh Blood And Honey

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true

I wanted to make a Joke about Homeworks,but sadly im an Orphan

POV you are drunk and telling jokes and know one is listening 😭😭😭

I have a pen I have an Apple um Apple pen The taliban had a plane the US had a building boom 9/11

I never do dark jokes but when i feel like it, i prefer orphan jokes, cos theyre the safest option. I mean what are they gonna do, call their parents?