Comedy jokes

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.

I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.

Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

Because they are full of ears!

Now that was a corny joke.

And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?

A feminist.

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?

Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!