Comedy jokes

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

Peter Griffin walks into a bar.

I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺

*runs away in tears*

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

Cooper is funny.

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

Why?

How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?

A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!