New Comedy Jokes - Page 48 - Worst Jokes Ever

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

...

Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.

What do jokes serve for dessert?

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

Wanna hear a joke? Your face.

GET DUNKED ONNNNNN!

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."

Actor 2: "Where's the b?"

Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...

Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.