Comedy jokes
Cooper is funny.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
...
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Wanna hear a joke? Your face.
GET DUNKED ONNNNNN!
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.