People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
Comedy Jokes
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Watch Key/Peele "Detective."
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
