A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy "What's going on here!?" He exclaims. The wife replies "See, I told you he was stupid."
Where do alien Cows come from?
-the Milky Way
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them? A: Look in a mirror.
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed ... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME !!!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late.. Guess who's late now..
I called prank called someone saying SON! ITS ME SON! IM COMING FOR YOU!!! my friend next to me asked who i was calling and I said the orphanage
what song did people in Hirosima listen to?
"here comes the sun"
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
Women are like dogs... "Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?" "Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?" "I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why did the starwars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
how come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Karma is like rape. What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
The twin towers are like your father, their both gone and will never come back.
A man comes home and the wife says 'My ex just died by getting hit by a bus' and the husband said 'I lost my job as a bus driver'
a Priest says to me come up my child then i said do i know you because your not my father
