Come jokes
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Troo, truer than ur dad coming back with dat milk
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.